Author: absinraw

“चलो चलें” – Poem

चलो चलें,

कि अब जो रास्ते मुख़ातिब हुए,
वो नज़रों के दायरे में पहले ना थे।

कि ख़्वाब जो बंद लिफाफों में रखे,
काग़ज़ों के पुलिंदों से गहरे ना थे।

कि ढल गया है सूरज, पता है।
दागदार चाँद आज भी दगाबाज़ है।

कि जितना लंबा साथ था,
आज हमउम्र उसकी बस याद है।

कि तन्हा यहाँ कब तक करूँ गुज़ारा,
हर जगह मेरा ही सामान है।

कि ढूँढ है तुम्हारी यहाँ वहाँ,
पर तुम यहाँ कहाँ।
तुम हो वहाँ जहाँ
ना मेरा कोई नामोनिशान है।

कि एकबारगी तुम कोस लेतीं,
मैं खुद दिन में सौ मर्तबा अपना ही गुनाहगार हूँ।

कि हक़ीक़त थीं तुम मेरी,
कोई सपना नहीं।
किस मुँह से मैं खुद को जवाब दूँ।

कि खो चुका हूँ एक हिस्सा अपना मैं
यादों की बारात में।

कि धंस चुकी है ज़िंदा लाश, बाकी जितनी,
ज़िंदगी के शमशान में।

कि हाथ में मेरे हैं कुछ चिथड़े
दामन-ए- उम्मीद के।

कि थक गया हूँ मैं, सुस्ता लूँ ज़रा,
मूँद आँखें संग आग़ाज़-ए-शब के।

July 14, 2017
ARE WE MOVING?

What is your ultimate goal in life?

No, that sounds too dramatic. Let me try again.

What do you want in life?

Do not limit yourself to just one answer. Because if you do, you would be lying to yourself. We all want a lot from life. We demand a lot from life. What life gives back, is enough to label it choosy and miser. But hey! that is life for you.

What I want from life? As always, it sounds pretty simple, yet is quite complicated at times.

I want to look back, smile and move forward.

And the only thing I could muster is looking back and smile.

I do not move forward. Many of us find themselves unable to do so. But is it wrong? If it was quite easy for a person to let go of their emotions, be it negative or positive, longing or loathing, they could only be put in one of the either of the following classifications.

Either the person has transcended above normal human capabilities. It is not impossible and is appreciatable.

Or the person had hollow emotions. I do not think it needs further comment.

So, it is fine to feel your feet stuck in the sands of time. It is fine to find yourself unable to move at all, watching everyone moving around you and walking past you. Because even if you are unable to notice it now, you will realise it later. You too are moving. The sands of time have a pace of their own. They are never stationary. It does not matter whether you want to move or just stay in the moment. Because the moment is going to pass, just in a moment.

Having established that, I could easily conclude that, even if I am unable to do so, i.e. move forward, life does it for me anyhow. Life does it for all of us. We just have to stop running back.

To the people who try running back, just try to understand the naivety, which when done repeatedly turns into borderline stupidity. You run back to things, people, thinking you will find them there. Where? Did you forget? They will be on the move too. Even they cannot stay where you left them even if they intended to. Sands of time drags everyone out of their apparently fixed positions in a constant manner.

When we all are on the move, the only way we have a chance of crossing paths is while moving forward. Ironical.

So even though I acknowledge my inability to move forward, I also believe in the little strides the sands are making me take continuously, shaping way for me, irrespective of my liking or want. I know better than being a stagnant pond and will try to shape the way as per to my liking. But let me also make my intentions very clear to the sands of time itself. When the paths shall be crossed again, which they will, I will remember to smile back.

What else do you want from life? Let us discuss it.

July 11, 2017
I AM NOT A FEMINIST

Words are not as simple as they seem. Their meaning is not always what appears to be. There is always an important variable which defines them. Context.

Hence, instead of defining myself with a word, which leaves me open to multiple interpretations and contexts, I would prefer to cement my definition in as much detail as possible.

Bottom line, instead of calling myself a feminist, I would rather declare myself to be a guy who believes that women have their unique place in this world which cannot be fathomed to be compared by the status of men. We are talking about comparisons between heaven and earth, which are both equally essential existence, yet incomparable in their uniqueness.

The only reason why the issue of gender equality is an issue because this world is considered to be a man’s world and man is the standard which has been set by us to be achieved. We are debating about the beauty of a yet to be bloomed rose and the flower of a mature cactus. Which even though could still be a matter of a debate for some, is actually illogical. Because the rose has not bloomed yet. Let it bloom at its glory and then it would be more of a fair comparison for the people who are so desperate for one. As long as two sides of a coin exist, the comparison cannot be avoided. Some will always choose heads and some will always choose tails. But should that create a conflict between heads and tails themselves? Should they be doubtful of their own place on the coin?

There will always be people around who will even question why women are roses and men are the cactus in the above example. Who will ignore to look why the comparison was made based on specific qualities of both plants, but generalise the entire idea into something more materialistic.

The stage of the cactus at which we males stand, should not push women to see us as the benchmark or the standardisation as far as potential is concerned. Why are they being forced to limit their wings just to come at par with us males? This world today is a male dominated society. Shouldn’t it be the responsibility of us males to nurture their (women’s) potential for the future? Why are we so afraid of our yin?

The only reason I could think of is fear. Fear of being left behind, or being stepped upon as we have been doing with them till now. Are we so weak? Can’t we evolve further?

I feel that humanity today is standing at a bottleneck of evolution. Because the only competition humans have is humans themselves. The key to the next step lies in the progress of the women, which would also push men to break out of their ancient shells, giving birth to mutual evolution and growth.

So, I might have a bit of a selfish reason to wish for women to reach the heights of their capabilities.

Hence, I am not a feminist by your definitions. I am myself, defined as above.

July 1, 2017
THE ONE WHO CANNOT BE MOVED

His name is Jain.. Achal Jain.
Not Aanchal, not Anshul, not Chanchal.. its Achal.
A synonym of “Hill” in “Hindi”.
Or as the heading says, “one who cannot be moved.”

I primarily was not inclined to write this post at all. Because I couldn’t find anything which has not been written over here among all these blog-posts, or said to you directly. Or via Whatsapp, over calls, elaborated text messages and other hundred modes of communication. Out of the 26 years you have completed on this planet earth, our invasion into each other’s life is now exactly two decades old. We’ve been pillion riders on Bajaj Classic Scooter and Yamaha RX-100 for Christ’s sake! It actually sounds like something that should have come out from our father’s mouth. Are we that old?

Mentally maybe.

Looking back now, it actually feels like an era has passed. We have actually witnessed each other growing up, And believe it or not, I do remember how we first met.

So this is about when we entered 1st standard. 1st July 1997 (It must be it, supposedly! I am not that good at remembering stuff), After a blissful summer vacation of entire two months, it was the time to go back to school. The first day of the session, no matter which class, is dreading anyhow. That’s what “the set of unwritten laws” says. To top it off, I had to change my mode of transportation also. As if the tiring work of applying covers to the books and copies, and making crucial decisions regarding which cartoon name-slip will go on which book cover was not draining enough.

This migration from Horse-Tonga to Auto, was pretty taxing mentally. How much could a kid take on the first day itself? As soon as the high pitched horn sounded outside, my mother rushed me with an enthusiasm she probably wanted to see in me. Had I gifted her my bag, she would have happily took it and rode off in the Auto to school. Sadly that’s not how it works.

As I dragged my feet to the gate, I was accompanied by my colony friends, who have been using this Auto for eternity and didn’t had to worry about being the new guy not only in the class, but also in the Auto. I saw them giving their bags to the driver, as they happily started conversing with their friends. A look back to my excited mother’s face ensured that there was no getting out of it.

So I silently walked to the driver, handed him my bag, and gave a look at the children to find a space where to sit. Such an unfriendly bunch of runts I tell you! Just busy in discussing about Shaktimaan and Kapala fight! I thought maybe the friendly neighbourhood friends would help me out. But no, they were the moderators of the group discussion!

There was this one guy with ultra straight hair and kinda triangular face, who looked at me and moved aside to let me in. I jumped at it and the auto started. After waving off to my mother, whose excitement was turning less visible with the auto picking up speed, my colony friends finally could see me again, and introduced to this triangle boy, who was the only guy in that auto of my age and class. “Hey Achal, this is Abhinav.”

“Hi! So which section are you in?”
“1st A”
“Cool! I am in the same class! That means we are classmates!”

I didn’t say much in that entire journey to school because all the talking on my behalf was being done by our common friends. We ended up on the same seat in the class, and by the end of the school that day I knew about his interest in drawing. I guess that was the point which led to the starting of a friendship. This friendship.

Taking a trip down the memory lane does bring up many great things. But that’s the stuff to discuss and reminisce some other day. Enjoy now, as it is the gateway to a new you, 26 year old you. Question everything else but yourself, as it’s difficult to surpass 26 years worth of experience. Maybe next year?

Any specific wish you have? Start collecting dragonballs then. Will give you a head start in it.. 🙂

Many Many Happy Returns of the Day!

April 7, 2017
TALKING TO THE MOON

Yup. The title of this.. article, is inspired (stolen) from a song in my all time favourite list, Talking To The Moon – Bruno Mars.

Why the sudden attachment with the moon you ask?

Nothing too special about it. Just that when I looked up towards the sky tonight, I was greeted by the Crescent Moon. And it suddenly stuck me. Crescent Moon seems much more beautiful than the Full Moon.

Now, before you either go “Duh! Obviously!” or “He’s definitely gone insane!” on me, let me make my case. For why I loved the Full Moon until tonight, and why I changed my mind upon having a closer look at the Crescent Moon.

Why I loved Full Moon-

Swear by God and say, that one random night when you find the enlarged heavenly sphere called Moon, with the yellowish tint, rising in the sky, you could possibly ignore it’s presence. Any other day, you have to seek it. Maybe even search it amidst the clouds throughout the sky. But no sir, not on a Full Moon day. You might debate whether it looks magnanimous (different preferences amongst yellowish hue or snow white texture), but it does capture your awe, interest and my admiration, always.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but when I was a kid, stuck neck deep in puppy love, the Full Moon always ended up being the substitute of the person subjected to that puppy love. Every time the Full Moon peeked through the window besides my bed, I wished it “Good Night”, hoping that somewhere the subjected person might be throwing a glance or two at it’s beauty too. And the wishes would indirectly be conveyed.

As I said, puppy love.

Full Moon has its own charm. The most complete form of the moon. Flaunting it’s scars in absolute glory. It always felt like it spoke to me, that the true beauty of a person reflects when the person acknowledges and embraces his imperfections. I always thought Full Moon when personified seems so brave, so gallant, knight-like. A presence you simply cannot ignore or dare ridicule.

Until I noticed Crescent Moon tonight, and wondered if that’s the case.

Why Crescent Moon now-

Crescent Moon is the Moon at its bare minimum visibility. Just before the Moon disappears, or just after it appears. It is not imposing like the Full Moon with a strong presence demanding your attention. Rather a soft presence in the sky which your eyes stumble upon completely unexpected, like finding a treasure. It makes Full Moon look like, not a knight bearing it’s scar bravely on its chest, but an arrogant presence wearing it’s imperfections like a garland. For the first time I thought Full Moon just boasts its size as if saying, “I am huuuuuuuuge!” (Imagine it in a certain American President’s voice) “I have imperfections, but who cares cause I am huuuuuuuge!”

Yeah, maybe Crescent Moon got an advantage just because it was able to let me see Full Moon under a whole new light (Other than the Sun’s. I meant the other Blondie).

But Crescent Moon in itself seems very pure, very fundamental. The cycle of Moon begins with it and ends at it. Like the circle of life maybe? Or simply because it reminded me of the striking similarity between it and the human life cycle, where the Infancy and Old Age are the two opposite ends, yet the same.

So, if Full Moon once inspired me to take pride in myself the way I am, taught me self-acceptance (before it’s image tainted), Crescent Moon reminded me of simplicity, modesty. The truth of life.

Maybe at the junction in my life where I am, sitting comfortably observing people around me, I resonate more with the impression Crescent Moon has left me with. Maybe that’s why my liking switched.

Or maybe, the Full Moon is too huuuuuuuuge!

Anyway, which one do you prefer?

March 31, 2017