Author: absinraw

  • A LETTER TO THE SELFIE QUEEN

    I hated “Selfies”. With time I have come to terms with the fact, that some fads are more bearable if you just let them run their course. But originally, I was a selfie hater.

    So, I guess it won’t be too hard to imagine my perception towards anyone who would be crowned as a “Selfie Queen”. Even though the “Selfie Queen” actually won a dumb competition in a senior-junior ice breaking event, so not exactly her fault. Still, Selfie Queen?? Yuck..

    Anyway, with the kind of love I had for the selfies and the similar feeling extended naturally towards their righteous queen, imagine my horror when a stupid “Name in the Slip” game chose me to be her buddy, just for the sake of a good senior-junior interaction.

    Like, best social event ever.

    Trust me when I say, I tried avoiding it like a plague. The queen was buzzing around me asking everyone who the person in her paper-slip was, as I sat there tight lipped, praying the heavens above to save an atheist from the amazing turn of events. But what are friends for. Welcome to the first awkward interaction.

    And there I was, prior to that event, thinking I would definitely help my junior buddy in every way possible, guide them throughout so that they could make the best out of their first year. How could I do that to the queen?? Somehow the interaction ended and I thanked God we didn’t exchange the number. I smiled inside as I thought that the God was merciful. But no! Just a few days later, I accidentally stumbled across the queen yet again, and this time we ended up exchanging numbers.

    Still, all had not been lost yet. I could still pass another three trimesters without coming in contact with this buddy queen of mine, in the total population of roughly 800 students in a closed residential campus. Speak about heights of optimism.

    And then it happened. Bruno was gone. I don’t remember this bit because I was too shaken at that time. But somehow we ended up talking, me and queen. Surprisingly, this conversation was nothing like what I would have normally expected. Because it was a healing one. That’s when I saw Ms. Dutta for what she is and I came to know this remarkable human being.

    OK, this all was too far-fetched and the exact facts have been dyed in heavy illusions to give this flavor. But too much praise is not my style and I am trying to heavily cut on sugar. Moreover, from this point onward, it’s going to be praises all along anyhow.

    Among people I see and come across on daily basis, who all are unique in their own sense, the rarity which always has fascinated me is the complexity of the simplicity. People are either complex, or simple, or seem complex but are simple. Then there are people like Ms. Dutta, who seem simple, but you always get a vibe similar to the one you feel while looking at the ocean from the shore; the surface is easy to read but the depth cannot be fathomed. She definitely is much more than what meets the eye. And I confirmed this when we had conversations. We never discussed rocket science, but the thoughts conveyed always had a weight in it, which usually comes with observation and experience. The beauty of it all is, the kind of temperament you would imagine for someone described as above, she doesn’t come even close. Ms. Dutta is as chirpy, as bubbly, as talkative, as fun-loving, as inversely proportional wise aged her soul is. I don’t know how she finds this balance. Or if she has a switch to her different modes, where just one exists at a time.

    Either Ms. Dutta, or the “Selfie Queen” 😛

    With the terrifying ability to pull off any joke or sarcasm with such a straight face, Ms. Dutta is what you would call a bundle of joy, made up of ages old ingredients, wrapped up in fancy packing. To top it all off, commendable command over the language, and the “could get killed over” quality, of being a glutton without being fat.

    Damn, even I am jealous.

    Well, that’s too much already for your B’day so I’ll wrap it up by saying two thing.

    1. Thank God your Churus didn’t win SuperChef, because nobody should be potentially good at so many things.
    2. Pink Potato, if you won’t do anything about it, I’ll steal it.

    Your b’days will come and go, but keep celebrating yourself each day. You deserve nothing less. Many many happy returns of the day.

     

     

     

    Image Courtsey: http://powellong.com/data/wallpapers/70/WDF_1157411.jpg

  • THE BRUNCH

    “What is your highest Flappy Bird score?” she asked while leaning over into the mobile screen.
    “Ohho! just wait a minute! I am on it!” he evaded her without shifting his gaze from it.

    “127!!?? Are you for real??”     She sounded surprised, though it was hard to judge if she was being sarcastic. His head nodded in disappointment while he dumped the mobile on the sofa.
    “Yeah, just 127… All thanks to you!” he grumbled as he moved towards the kitchen.

    “Heyyy… What did I do? Stop blaming me for your failures!”     she snapped back as she refused to move away from the sofa and settled herself comfortably instead.

    It was a beautiful, but chilly Friday morning. The sun was now visible over high towering buildings around the society. And living on the top floor of a multi-storied building in a society, makes it easier for you to have access to all the sunlight at the terrace for yourself.

    As he cluttered through the kitchenware, to fix a snack from the last night’s leftovers, she suddenly whispered in his ears, “No maid today again?”

    “Yeah, she had to go to the doctor’s.”     he replied while focusing on the question, how he wanted the eggs. After a brief moment and sudden realization, he shot back, “You have off today! That’s why you are so chirpy in the morning!”

    “I think it’s high time and you should remember by now that I have my Fridays off.”     she smirked, following it with a fake sulky pout.

    She was completely ignored! His attention on the breakfast is worth the respect.
    “I would have made you something, but then I thought we could have a brunch someplace. Let’s try out one from our list!” her voice was bursting with energy, and it made a solid attempt to grab his attention.

    “You didn’t make me anything because I don’t drink tea, and that was your best bet!”     he teased her while flipping the eggs. “But honestly, brunch sounds like a good idea. However, you do remember I have working Fridays??”

    His stare caught her hiding behind the sofa, from where she peeked over and answered, “I do!! But you can call in sick! I am going to the terrace. You take off today or I’ll take off!” she stuck out her tongue at him, and ran upstairs.

    All he could do was smile and follow her, along with the breakfast.
    Because breakfast is essential…

    —

     

    As he sat beside her on the green, wet grass, she closed her eyes and leaned back to soak the sun in. The small rose garden at the terrace, with the sun, just strong enough to break through the morning winter chill, was a personal getaway. He could feel goosebumps all over his body, as the warmth eased him off and seeped into him. An occasional blow of wind turned it into a cycle. As soon as he kept his phone off after calling in sick, she turned towards him and stared blankly. He saw her giving that look to his plate, and then to him.

    “Don’t give me that look! I’ll be fine for the brunch even with this breakfast.” he managed to speak while chewing on what was left of it. She smiled and closed her eyes again, facing towards the sun and breathed “It feels good here. Let’s just stay.”

    He didn’t smile back. His eyes stared directly at the sun till they hurt, and then closed themselves.

    “I felt something peculiar yesterday”     he muttered as he sat there.

    “I was riding motorcycle while returning from the office, and the speed was a bit high. My mind was jumbled up about something and suddenly it felt like the time has slowed down.
    Like I could just give the accelerator full throttle and let the bike go on, till it crashes into something.
    How would it feel? How would I feel if it crashed? Would the whole slow motion feeling would be gone in an instant? Maybe I’ll fly to a certain distant.
    Floating in mid-air, slow motion.”

    She opened her eyes and stared at him. His eyes were still closed and the face was difficult to read. “Well, that’s dark.” she stated, remaining composed.

    However, he pictured her looking at him with a somber expression, hence couldn’t help but smirk. “I know! But I felt pretty light at that moment. Anyhow, your company does affect you.” He commented sarcastically while enjoying the warmth of the sun on his eyelids. Just the spot!

    “So, what was your mind jumbled in when this happened?” her voice entered his ears, echoing in the pitch-black darkness, with the orange hue. His sigh marked his awareness regarding the occurrence of this question.

    As he opened his eyes, he found her looking at him without any traces of the chirpiness, which floated across her face a few moments before. She had an air of seriousness around her. His head turned up towards the cloudless sky, in a futile hope for the sun to be covered for a bit. So, he took a deep breath and replied, “I was thinking about us…”

    She felt as if the anticipation she had, just got verified. She took her time to respond and began it with a sigh, “I thought I was pretty clear about it. And it seemed like you understood.”

    The voice sounded firm as well as the tone. He looked at the empty plate kept besides him as he avoided looking at her. “I know. I still understand. But that doesn’t change the way I feel.”

    Her voice turned into laughter, which assured sarcasm this time. She leaned forward to inspect a rose bud in the garden and softly spoke “It’s better if we don’t talk about feelings. I think we both are pretty clear about where each of us stands.” her voice trailed a bit, as she stood up and started walking towards the edge of the terrace.

    He didn’t move a muscle and kept sitting on the grass. It was difficult to get through to her, and he knew he was at fault. “The feelings were imbalanced, and I hit the nail on its head.” he spoke softly, trying to weigh-in where to place the statement.

    “You cheated. Don’t sugarcoat it.”     she leaned at the edge, as if to check something, and turned back and questioned, “Since how long have you not washed your bike?”

    He was feeling the goosebumps again. But there was no chilly wind to cause it.     “It’s been a week… And you know I didn’t mean it. It was the booze.” he retorted back, although he knew it very well how lame the argument sounded.

    “So, you tell? Do you get to get away?”     she spoke as she again leaned over to see something that had caught her fancy downstairs.

    “No. But I didn’t hide it, or lied.”     his eyes were fixated at the grass, twisting and uprooting whatever he got his hands on.

    She turned around towards him, took a deep breath and sat down resting herself against the border of the terrace. “You do know I am not mad at you for it? We were in long distance relationship. We knew it could happen. We had discussed it earlier.”

    He coldly smiled as he heard those words and his hands stopped. “Does it make me less guilty? Does that mean that I didn’t screw up? Does that mean things could go back to what they were?
    No.”

    “But the chances of us surviving were anyhow…” she tried to interrupt.

    “Were scarce, I agree! But I sabotaged it. I know it. I accept it. And I’ll have to live with it.” He completed himself assertively. She just sat there, silently, looking at him, without blinking her eyes. His hands were intertwined with each other as he dug a hole in the garden with his stare.

    “Yeah, and that’s why you should eat more… Let’s go to the brunch!” She casually tried to change the topic and started to move downstairs.

    “I am not a fool you know… Watching a movie alone is one thing. Eating alone at a restaurant is just plain sad. I’ll ask some friends first.” he muttered as he raised his head. He was unable to notice the trace of smile that ran across her face when she heard him. “So, you don’t need me after all! I am not even counted in as company!” she looked back at him wearing that smile.

    “Had I not needed you, would you be here?” he questioned her as his eyes brimmed with emotions hard to describe.

    “Don’t you think I could have been a bit taller and thinner?”     she chuckled as she stood on the stairs sticking her tongue out at him again.

    Caught off-guard at this remark all of a sudden, a second later he burst into laughing.

    They both laughed and the moment was perfect.

    The place was perfect.

    The time was perfect.

    “Girl you are amazing, just the way you are!” he mocked singing as he stood up from the grass and carried the plates downstairs, behind her, fake dancing on the tune of it.

    —

    As he put up the dishes in the kitchen sink, the doorbell rang up. It was the maid. “Sorry bhaiyya for being late! The waiting line at the Doctor’s place was very long!”

    “It’s fine Radha ji. As long as you inform me beforehand, it could be managed. Just skip the breakfast and lunch, take care of the rest.” he hurriedly replied as he took his jacket, helmet and the keys to his bike.

    “Bhaiyya… Going somewhere?” the maid enquired as he reached the door.

    “Yeah, I am going on brunch with her. You can do the preparations for dinner directly. I’ll be late.”

    “On brunch with her?? With whom?” the maid asked in surprise. She saw around and only found him standing at the door.

    He looked at the maid, and then at Her standing beside him, all set to go. “Umm… Nobody! Just my imagination! I am going to eat alone.” he smiled as he shut the door up on the perplexed maid.

     

     

     

    Image Courtsey:
    http://www.ramsheadtavern.com/Menus/2016/BRUUCHweb.jpg

  • STUPID DOG

    He always used to keep his right paw bent inward whenever he sat. We always tried to keep his paw straight. It was a ritual. Obligatory to be performed. Because he knew what we’d be doing but he still did it anyway.

    Stupid Dog. Just wanted all the attention in the world.

    You always had it dumbo.. Still have it..

  • TO GOODBYES, AND WELCOMES..

    The quintessential for a rebirth, would definitely be death. The beginning of a new chapter urges the completion of the last one. There needs to be an end, for a new beginning to occur. You get the gist of it; this is a customary, end of the year rant, which will progress towards why the passing year needs to be paid farewell, no matter how it treated you. Or why you should welcome the arriving year with open arms. So I’ll wrap up the formalities by simply stating that only the fools cry over spilled milk, which in hindsight would be this year. And the coming year has not harmed you yet, so why blame it for something it has yet to do? Let it spoil everything for you after the new season of Game of Thrones ends, and you end up waiting aimlessly, yet again for another season, till another year. Cringe about it at that year’s end, not now!

    This year, personally, has been full of surprises, for lack of better words. Surprises, because I don’t know how they’ll fare. It would be premature to comment on their nature just yet. But their magnitude is definitely equivalent to the tectonic shifts. Do you realize how the historical timeline is based on the occurrence of singular event, birth of Jesus Christ; A.D.(Anno Domini) and B.C.(Before Christ). The events which took place in this year are of the magnitude which have the capability to mark this year as year zero for me.

    To address the journey covered till now, the path which came to an end, the destination which ended up solidifying the fact that it was all just a wild goose chase, a fairy tale, I don’t have much words. This departure is one of the hardest things I’ve ever been made to do. An era ended. Some dreams were just wiped off the slate and disintegrated into the dark black hole, called reality. I know as someone who is writing, I need to make the reader aware of the intent and reference, but this story is for another time.

    A little private address to the people who know they are being addressed; you individuals mean the world to me, and I just wish you immense happiness in your lives and journeys ahead, from the bottom of my heart. Just let me be a bit selfish for a while. Let me mourn, get angry, feel shattered for a few moments more, because our journey at least deserves my unhinged and unapologetically true feelings. I don’t want to know what you are going through, because at the moment I can’t help you. Neither can you help me. Let’s deal with our own demons so that we can smile tomorrow. We won’t be able to walk on the same road or have the same destination, but let’s meet up at the junctions once in a while. You guys are an inseparable part of me, and I’ll carry us wherever I go. Just give me time so that I can preserve a speck of us from reality, at least in my own space.

    So as I said, an era ended. But that’s not all that happened. First job happened. First boss, first sale, first salary. Small things which fill up your heart, they all happened. Something else also happened. An era began. Love happened. And that too in the most unrealistic way possible, which makes it way more realistic to my crooked sense of reality. Happiness happened.

    To address the journey yet to cover, another wild goose chase has begun, but the eyes are not at the goose. They are smiling towards the one accompanying in the goose chase. I am living yet another fairy tale, but it’s just the other participant in the tale that actually matters. Some new dreams are there on the slate taking up the space vacated on it.

    Again a little private address to the fellow participant in the fairy tale play. Sometimes, you find the perfect piece that fits in your puzzle. But rarer are the occasions when you feel like the perfect piece of someone else’s puzzle. Thank you just for existing on this planet and stop sticking out that tongue at me 🙂

    To sum it all up, embrace this year and give it a parting farewell. This year, whatever it has done to you, will not come back. Yeah, there is no guarantee that the next year won’t be as cruel or as generous as the parting one. But we can at least try to coax it by giving it a splendid welcome, isn’t it! Come on, we are Indians. Flattery and bribery attempt karna to banta hai..

     

    Image Coutsey:

    http://68.media.tumblr.com/13c54c147f415ed8a573d0bb574944b3/tumblr_moginwRpoQ1qkxrtro1_1280.jpg

  • “क्या से क्या बन गए” – Poem

    टूट कर बिखरे हुए उम्मीद की मेरी,
    कंकड़ ये कांच के हैं अब नासूर बन गए।

    जिस इबादत के नशे में धुत था मैं कामिल,
    उस ख़ुदा के अश्क साझा शौक बन गए।

    वक़्त ही मरहम है, दिल के घाव गहरे हैं,
    कुछ रश्क भरी हैं ख्वाहिशें, जिन पर सब पहरे हैं।

    दरख़्त-ए-दिल की शाखों में जितने घरोंदे थे,
    मुफलिसी की हर परिंदे के फरमान बन गए।

    हम फ़ेहरिस्त-ए-आरज़ू पर दर्ज़े के अव्वल थे,
    ज़िद से नाकारा आशिको में नाम कर गए।।