Author: absinraw

There are very rare occasions when a man doubts himself. “Man” doesn’t doubt. He has a justification for everything. And they are perfectly reasonable too. But these rare doubts question his existence. Something unjustifiable shatters the plinth his self is built on.

A girl asked him a question.

“How can you say you love me?”

“How can you say it’s true. Not an infatuation? The forever love.”

“How are you so sure about it?”

He could have said a hundred things to convince her, and he did try. But somewhere inside started a turmoil. That was a valid question. How could he prove it to her?

He thought about it. Read about it. Researched about it. And I am not joking, He did all of it. But not one scientifically proved test. Just psychological tests but even they don’t guarantee the proof of “forever love”.

And I must tell you. That girl is the most hard headed girl he has ever come across, except his mother. Adamant. And not the throwing tantrum kind. The silent logical stare *shoving it in your face* kind. She won’t budge without getting the proper answer to that question.

What could you do when you can’t prove what is there in abundance. Its frustrating. I recall the story of the guy who reached the land of blinds. He knew what it was, yet an utter failure to prove it.

I mean, a guy listens to you all the time whenever you talk, he’s a good listener.

A guy tries to solve all your daily life problems on the phone, he’s wise.

A guy tries to tell you what real world is like to his best knowledge so that you could be mentally strong and be prepared for it, he’s practical.

A guy fights with you and reconciles with you even when you are wrong, he treasures you.
A guy gets jealous when you talk about other guys and tries to hide it, he’s cute.
A guy gives you handmade gifts, he is creative.
A guy runs to you no matter the distance just because he thought you needed him, he’s caring.
A guy cried in front of you, he considers you best friend.

A guy goes through this cycle for years, even after he’s been told there’s no hope as a response to his confession, he’s stupid.

Stupid he was. It doesn’t prove it’s eternal.

And one day, the sad truth suddenly hit him.

She won’t budge ever.

Not because he couldn’t prove it. But because she doesn’t want it to be proved. It was he that needed her. If he walks away from her life, she would lose her best friend. That we all do, at all stages of life. His pain would be, painful, if nothing else. And lingering. But she’ll move on in her busy life, in her ambitions, in weaving the world around her the way she wanted.

So he decided to do so, walk away, one step at a time. He decided to give her what she wanted from him, a best friend. He acted the way he was with his friends, except one thing. He couldn’t share his true feelings with her ever again.

They were bound to grow apart.

They did.

They have been in different cities all time, now the connection grew distant too.

What’s left is him staring at her WhatsApp profile “online”, her Facebook chat color green. And hoping each time she changed her display picture to something he once said he liked, that she’s remembering him.

I don’t know if he did right. I personally believe that if he had gotten rid of that self doubt, he could have kept clinching and it could have been either way. He should not have doubted himself.

But not doubting meant he believed that it was the true love she asked about.

Was it?

 

I was wondering at the name of the previous blog I originally wrote it in. I was trying to recollect why I named it “Parallel Perspectives”. Its because I’ve always felt that the way people think differ a lot, in many different aspects. But it doesn’t make some right and some wrong. They all are right in their each unique sense. Some people might be weighing the situation differently, some might be taking the environment differently. Different people have different experiences on which their train of thought rides. E.g. some people might take me to be very diplomatic because of the way I deal with people, whereas others might take me to be a guy who sweet talks at face. Some people might relate to me and understand that I just try to see the situation for what it is. So people might have different perceptions about anything.

Parallel Perspectives is the extremity where the different outlooks to the same thing are so opposite, that they are destined to be separate forever. Which means, there is no similarity, no common points in between how two different people perceive a situation. So that blog was named as taking in account the notion, that my thoughts regarding any topic could be befitting the idea of ‘Parallel Perspectives’ if compared to the views of the reader.

I come across many different posts and shared picture on many social networking sites, Facebook prominently. One could find immense content to go through, if they are curious to know how different people could be just based on the way they think. I was, and what I found was not surprising, but disturbing.

Mr. X was seen with a bottle in his hands. – FACT
Mr, X was seen with a bottle in his hands which he seems to be in need of. – NORMAL PERCEPTION (could be valid or invalid)
Mr. X was seen with a liquor bottle in his hands and he was drunk. – GENERAL PERCEPTION (illogical, as seen on Facebook posts)

I usually use words ‘normal’ and ‘general’ quite often and in same context. In the above statements, however, normal and general are parallel perspectives.

I read it too much, and finally came to conclusion that this is happening due to the presence of an open platform, where everyone could share their opinion, but people forget that every opinion is not worth sharing.

I would like to use my favorite quote here, “WITH GREAT POWER, COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY!”

If people like us are given opportunity to voice our thoughts in any way whatsoever, shouldn’t it be our duty to filter our thoughts first? There is no hurry to form an opinion or even to have an opinion. Its even better to have no opinion rather having one without any proper thoughts or content behind it. And if one has, shouldn’t he/she should be open to construct it along the way rather than taking stand on it and justifying it as if you have bet your life on it?

After all, Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

“The most typical problem one can have when you are pretentious ‘Mr. Know It All’ is you don’t do things because you think you know the result.
You don’t share things because you know nobody cares. Even if some do, they won’t comprehend the importance. And if by God’s grace some did, they won’t have the patience.

You don’t open completely to people because you know people are not trustworthy. Even if people are, the situations they could be in, are not.
I think a lot..

Maybe more than required.

It would not be exaggerating if I say, that my efforts are usually to think about each possible outcome of a situation. It is pretty contradicting because I like to be surprised. Something which we have not thought of, not planned for. Something random. It sometimes feel like a possibility has on purpose not been considered or left untouched by me just because, on subconscious level, I wish for the unexpected to happen.

I try to categorize people around me in a pretty interesting manner. It is not based on who is how much close to me. I don’t do ‘close’ now.

It is based on how much I am aware of the conditions regarding a person where he/she would betray my expectations. It decides my comfort zone.

Then comes the people whom I don’t know. No introduction. No expectation.
Most difficult, new acquaintances. And then starts the rigorous routine of observation to put them in the comfortable list.

The most comfortable people to be around are those whom I could predict. Who I know could lie to me on certain occasions, would ditch me on certain events, even bite behind my back. It could be outrageous but their reactions are expected.

Maybe that’s why I am easy around most people. If you don’t give people the power to startle you or to catch you off guard, what is there to be afraid of?

If the above description would have been given to me, I would have guessed the person to be a practical kind of person. On the contrary, I am as dreamy as they come. I am positive that there always is a hope. You can call it a chink in the armor. Sometimes even knowing things is not enough.”

Aalekh typed it all and read it. His protagonist felt like he wanted to be heard, but without shouting. He wanted to be understood, but without explaining. He wanted to be loved, but without begging. He thought of making some changes to it, but felt a distinct affinity towards him. “Let’s see if it works”, he whispered to himself and slipped into his bed, reminding himself the deadline set for the submission of the draft copy of the novel.

Sometimes I wonder if people write intentionally? I mean, I don’t. It feels like a compulsion. Something wants to be in substance, in existence. No matter what you are doing, if you are free or busy, sleepy or wide awake.. *YAWN*

But there sure is a trigger. This urge is activated somehow. And what is it that comes out on paper, on blog? Time to define what feelings are, I guess.

A friend of mine said I write abstract. 🙂

Feelings are abstract. No logic behind them. Why you feel in a certain way is a question we can just try to attempt, and that too in the hope that we’ll get marks just for a ‘daring attempt’.

Well, what triggered me to write today is a movie. A movie with a story. Actually, the movie has a story and has a back-story too. I won’t bother you with any of the stories. But have you ever felt reliving the experience of seeing any movie which is special to you? We all have our ‘watch it repeatedly till I die’ movies. Some of them are for what they are, some are there for some environmental issues, and some are for both. That ‘both’ category is _________. I might be sounding crazy, but that experience is something you can only feel and can’t justifiably convey. I experienced it yet again today. And its astonishing how it affects.

For a moment, it felt like I saw a glimpse of the clicked picture of the future, the way I want it to be. That one snap taken at the perfect time, which narrates all the stories and memories behind it, which are yet to happen. All pieces of the puzzle sitting together having coffee. If it would have been this easy..

Do have such a movie of your own, try sneaking a peek at that snap of yours.. You’ll know what you want..

*Harry Potter fans.. Tumse na ho payega…

I just went through a blog of a friend of mine which made me recall a theory I made about perceptions.

It was something on the lines of-

“Hypothetically, let us consider that different situations are of different colors. Innumerable situations, infinite colors. Similarly, each perception is like a pair of colored glasses which are available in a range of different colors themselves. Now, there could be one, and only one perfect combination of a situation and a pair of colored glasses, that have exact same color. The perfect match. A perception that makes you look at the situation as it is. Be it green, yellow or blue. That’s the ideal situation that never happens. What actually happens is, people have single pair of colored glasses, which they use to see the entire world around consisting of random colored situations. Now if someone tries to see a ‘green’ situation through ‘red’ colored glasses, he would see the situation as ‘blue’, which it’s not. It’s even not possible to carry different pair of glasses, of different colors, to match and see every situation.

The easiest solution is carrying a normal transparent pair of glasses.

Have a perception which is free of presumptions, stereotypes and any bias. After all, these impurities give your pair the color. Remove them and you always see the original situation as it actually is”.