Tag: 2020

  • TO THE BUTTERFLIES IN THE STOMACH

    TO THE BUTTERFLIES IN THE STOMACH

    Dear Butterflies,

    Long time no see!

    I thought you all moved to someplace else, because it had been quite some time since I last heard from you. I was confused then, struggling to understand whether the absence was good or bad.

    I still am, about your return.

    No matter how much I enjoy the fleeting feeling of nervousness that zaps through my body like a jolt from fingers to toes, it’s hard not to notice the companions that seek you. I don’t blame you for them, but you all did hang around with”uncertainty” and “rejection” all day long in the past. You definitely have attracted some bad company in the past, and I can still see their faces lurking out just outside the gates.

    It always puts me in a difficult position, because I really enjoy being with you all. I always find a different side of myself in your presence, a much happier side. But I also hate to see you rush away as soon as those guys show up. Past mistakes are hard to wash away at times.

    I wish I was strong enough to stand up against them earlier, but they were strong, and ruthless. Now, I think I can deal with them, but putting you into the mix changes things. I don’t think I am capable enough to save you yet. If I decide to stand up for you, we both will suffer.

    So even though it was a thrill to meet you after so long, I think you should go back. It’s not safe for you yet. Maybe you should not pay me a visit for a while. Let’s maintain the distance for mutual safety and non-exposure to your street-side romeos.

    I hope the time comes when I’ll be strong enough to welcome you back and to protect you. Till then, just be alive.

    I’ll find you, I guess.

    Yours,

    Absinraw

  • “TWO SECONDS” – Poem

    “TWO SECONDS” – Poem

    It’s funny how you find yourself
    in the same space,
    again and again,
    until the umpteenth time,
    when it is not funny anymore.

    When the rhetorical questions
    don’t have answers.
    When you seek
    those two seconds
    where you can pity yourself,
    because you have to be strong otherwise.

    When you know
    you are not running in circles,
    but each turn seems to be familiar.
    The thought of a life
    that is going to play itself
    just the way you know it would,
    scares you.

    Just two seconds
    before you close the doors
    on your screams,
    you let your voice loose,
    even if nobody hears it.
    Afterall, it is better
    than people choosing
    to ignore it knowingly.

    All this, in the hope
    that your legs will not let you down
    as soon as you put your weight on them,
    to run away somewhere else.

    Maybe somewhere unfamiliar.
    Maybe somewhere unpredictable.
    Maybe a new home.