Tag: love

  • STUPID DOG

    He always used to keep his right paw bent inward whenever he sat. We always tried to keep his paw straight. It was a ritual. Obligatory to be performed. Because he knew what we’d be doing but he still did it anyway.

    Stupid Dog. Just wanted all the attention in the world.

    You always had it dumbo.. Still have it..

  • TO GOODBYES, AND WELCOMES..

    The quintessential for a rebirth, would definitely be death. The beginning of a new chapter urges the completion of the last one. There needs to be an end, for a new beginning to occur. You get the gist of it; this is a customary, end of the year rant, which will progress towards why the passing year needs to be paid farewell, no matter how it treated you. Or why you should welcome the arriving year with open arms. So I’ll wrap up the formalities by simply stating that only the fools cry over spilled milk, which in hindsight would be this year. And the coming year has not harmed you yet, so why blame it for something it has yet to do? Let it spoil everything for you after the new season of Game of Thrones ends, and you end up waiting aimlessly, yet again for another season, till another year. Cringe about it at that year’s end, not now!

    This year, personally, has been full of surprises, for lack of better words. Surprises, because I don’t know how they’ll fare. It would be premature to comment on their nature just yet. But their magnitude is definitely equivalent to the tectonic shifts. Do you realize how the historical timeline is based on the occurrence of singular event, birth of Jesus Christ; A.D.(Anno Domini) and B.C.(Before Christ). The events which took place in this year are of the magnitude which have the capability to mark this year as year zero for me.

    To address the journey covered till now, the path which came to an end, the destination which ended up solidifying the fact that it was all just a wild goose chase, a fairy tale, I don’t have much words. This departure is one of the hardest things I’ve ever been made to do. An era ended. Some dreams were just wiped off the slate and disintegrated into the dark black hole, called reality. I know as someone who is writing, I need to make the reader aware of the intent and reference, but this story is for another time.

    A little private address to the people who know they are being addressed; you individuals mean the world to me, and I just wish you immense happiness in your lives and journeys ahead, from the bottom of my heart. Just let me be a bit selfish for a while. Let me mourn, get angry, feel shattered for a few moments more, because our journey at least deserves my unhinged and unapologetically true feelings. I don’t want to know what you are going through, because at the moment I can’t help you. Neither can you help me. Let’s deal with our own demons so that we can smile tomorrow. We won’t be able to walk on the same road or have the same destination, but let’s meet up at the junctions once in a while. You guys are an inseparable part of me, and I’ll carry us wherever I go. Just give me time so that I can preserve a speck of us from reality, at least in my own space.

    So as I said, an era ended. But that’s not all that happened. First job happened. First boss, first sale, first salary. Small things which fill up your heart, they all happened. Something else also happened. An era began. Love happened. And that too in the most unrealistic way possible, which makes it way more realistic to my crooked sense of reality. Happiness happened.

    To address the journey yet to cover, another wild goose chase has begun, but the eyes are not at the goose. They are smiling towards the one accompanying in the goose chase. I am living yet another fairy tale, but it’s just the other participant in the tale that actually matters. Some new dreams are there on the slate taking up the space vacated on it.

    Again a little private address to the fellow participant in the fairy tale play. Sometimes, you find the perfect piece that fits in your puzzle. But rarer are the occasions when you feel like the perfect piece of someone else’s puzzle. Thank you just for existing on this planet and stop sticking out that tongue at me 🙂

    To sum it all up, embrace this year and give it a parting farewell. This year, whatever it has done to you, will not come back. Yeah, there is no guarantee that the next year won’t be as cruel or as generous as the parting one. But we can at least try to coax it by giving it a splendid welcome, isn’t it! Come on, we are Indians. Flattery and bribery attempt karna to banta hai..

     

    Image Coutsey:

    http://68.media.tumblr.com/13c54c147f415ed8a573d0bb574944b3/tumblr_moginwRpoQ1qkxrtro1_1280.jpg

  • TOWARDS THE SUNRISE

    “Wind is pretty strong here. Don’t you think so?” she said while facing the sun, eyes closed. “I just love the sunrise.”

    “You need to see it with your eyes open. Is that why you called me here? To see the sunrise? This early?” he grumbled, while squinting his eyes towards the sun with a disapproving look on his face.

    “Aww..! Sorry! Should have asked sun to rise a little late. Around 10 o’ clock would have been fine?” She looked back at him and let a smile slip by seeing his squinting mourning face. “Could you ever be less gloomy? Mornings fill people up with energy and positiveness, and then there’s you.” He could always make her smile, even without trying.

    “I called you, because I needed to tell you something urgent.” Her expression turned somber, as she shifted her gaze from him rubbing his eyes to the amber sun.

    His hands stopped midway. After a moment, his eyes stuck to the slowly rising sun, while completely avoiding her’s. “What is so important that I had to sacrifice my sleep for it?” He knew what it was. He got the news yesterday and since then his stomach had been churning.

    “The date is set. 4 March.” Her voice sounded clear, but distant.
    “That’s cool! So it’s finally happening.” He didn’t seem to blink.

    “Won’t you congratulate me?” She closed her eyes again to feel the wind rushing by her face. “I won. I got there first.”
    “So what? I knew you would win. I wasn’t even competing.” He smirked and closed his eyes too. The wind stopped. “Let’s go back. The sun has risen, and there is no wind.” He stood up and started walking.

    “Will you meet him?” She didn’t move from her place a bit.
    His steps halted. “Nah.. I have no interest in guys. Do tell me if he has a sister, or cousins!”
    “That you can see for yourself at the wedding.”     She looked at his back, still waiting for him to make eye contact.

    “You said 4 March, right? Aah.. The project I told you about, I think I would be in New Zealand around that time regarding that. So don’t forget getting their pictures clicked, and save a copy for me!” He spoke hurriedly, looking above at the sky with bluish hue. He seemed to be trying to find something, but got nothing. He knew it was going to happen. He had made peace with it.

    “Your project doesn’t start before may.” She said while still waiting. “You can make it..”
    He turned back and looked straight in her eyes. “I won’t.”
    She couldn’t say a word.

    “But I know it would be awesome! So do hire a professional to get the video done!” He laughed shortly before continuing back to his bike. She quietly stood up and started to move after him.

    When they reached near the bike, he stopped again, turned around and said, “Hey listen!”
    “Ya..” She said while continuing walking without looking up.
    “Thank you.” He smiled while sitting on the bike.
    She was surprised and looked up at him smiling. “What for?”
    He grinned. “I’ll be out of the Friend-zone, anyhow.”

    Her face was in a fix, as her lips were smiling but her eyes weren’t. She tried to see his, but he immediately covered it with the helmet. She sat behind him, as they drove off towards the rising sun.

    A new morning.

     

     

     

    Image Courtsey:
    http://orig05.deviantart.net/b824/f/2012/002/c/6/poon_hill_sunrise_by_shedofsteel-d4l1ev8.jpg

     

  • WHY ME?

    Late night movie on the laptop, with the companionship of a packet of salted peanuts and an almost empty cold drink bottle; that was what I was engrossed in, when I heard a frantic running in the corridor, with thumping footsteps growing louder each second. I lowered the volume only to find that the door to my room was now being beaten down frantically. I paused the movie and half halfheartedly moved towards the door for opening it. Around 2 A.M in the supposedly morning, he entered my room. That was Pranshul.

    “What are you doing?” he asked in a hurried tone while being all sweaty, from what looks like a non stop run to my room from his, which had many flights of stairs between them. “Just watching a movie. Why what happened?” He collapsed on the bed, started fidgeting with his phone for a few seconds before he broke the silence and said, “She got a job.” He was talking about her ex. Their relationship of almost 3 years was brought down by the long distance relationship syndrome for about 4 months ago. “Okk.. So should I say congratulations or you are not feeling happy?” I asked him trying to be as normal as I could while pushing the door to close. “Don’t know. It’s a mixed feeling. It’s good she got a job. But now that she has got a job, would that anyhow make any difference in her feelings towards me?” I saw him sharply to check if he was okay. The fidgeting had stopped, but he was looking somewhere on the wall, fixated at a point, which had nothing. It was like his eyes were staring at something which doesn’t exist there; where he was trying to find it, or hoped it would be.

    Pranshul has always been a hyper person. Brimming with raw energy, which at times overflowed and this energy was infectious. Maybe a little rough some times, but then he knows it himself. All he hates was someone pointing it out. Then he puts a barricade around him and fortifies his defense which nothing can bring down. Seeing him in a defenseless state made me realize how deep his feelings are for the girl he loved. The breakup had it’s toll on him. The messed up stages of “Was all that fake?”, “The blame game”, “It was my fault” and “I know her, it’s over”, he had been struck by each of them. Confused and torn between his lingering feelings for her and his ability to fall in love again, he paddled between the seething question “Is it right to be with someone else” punching a hole in his heart at times, and on the other hand, secretly downloading her whatsapp display pictures, just to admire her without thinking about anything else by confining himself in a silo of his own, even if for some moments.

    He caught me watching him silently. “Don’t you dare trying to judge me!” He raised his voice as if something was building up inside him. “I am trying to judge the situation and not you. Relax. I am not always in the sarcastic mode.” I tried to calm him down as it was clear as daylight that his mind was running at a frenzied pace. I sat down and waited for him to speak. He started.

    Any story which gives chance to two people to come together and share some time together in love, is qualified to be called as a love story, like a fairy-tale, no matter how it ends. This was a love story too. A boy had feelings for a girl. One lucky day the girl said yes to the boy and they went to be in a relationship. That’s where the love story ends and the other story starts. After all life is not supposed to be just a love story. It is just a continuation of one story after another. Their’s took a reality check. Time and distance tested their compatibility, their love, their faith, their resolution. And the fairy-tale ended. Practicality won.

    He poured it all out. The story, how they met. What he liked about her. What plans he used to make for her. How he taught her riding the bike. How he learned sharing food with her. How he proposed her. How he spent days with her. What was the reason she gave him when she left. And the surge of emotions played all over his face. “You know, I know I’ll never change and so won’t she. Maybe it was supposed to end like this. I mean this was coming.” He tried his hard to justify himself all the reasons he could muster, as to why things are how they are and why they were supposed to be so. All I could see, was how that girl changed little things in him which nobody could have. Teaching a guy who claims to have foodgasms how to share his food is an impossible task. Making a hothead self aware of his behavior and way of dealing in public, is something someone only with a powerful impact on you could accomplish. That girl did that. Pranshul himself might not have realized it, or didn’t want to now.

    After narrating the entire story, Pranshul looked at me, then at his mobile phone. “Where did I falter?” I didn’t know what to do. Sweet talk won’t do any good to him. He had made mistakes. But the girl did them too. Long distance relationship are too fragile. Then the temperament of the people involved in the relationship and the situations and phases they are going through add up impacting the whole equation. I wanted him to talk to her to at-least get some closure and if nothing else, then move on. “It doesn’t matter. All that you did or what she did has already been done. Try talking to her once to get that last shard out of your heart.” Pranshul looked at me and the face was of a person wincing in pain. “I know her too well. I know what she’ll say. I know the shard will be pulled out and I won’t survive the loss of blood. This is the only thing which even if is paining me has bound me together. If she removed it, I’ll fall apart.” Anything sounding positive would have been giving false hope or a hope without a basis. I was talking about giving her up but how can someone preach something which he didn’t even practice. I didn’t know the girl at all. She must have had a story too, and by her description, pretty logical one. She had her own circumstances. I could only hope that she regrets her decision and it was just in a fit of rage.

    I felt helpless. Knowing the feeling always helps. So I decided to break it to him. “Only one thing could be done. Go and meet her.” “Are you kidding me?” He stood up and sighed in disappointment. “Listen to me first. I am not asking you to go and talk to her or beg her. Go and meet her for the last time. And when you meet her, lean in and inject the syringe you bought on your way, filled up with air. She’ll die with air embolism.”

    Pranshul stood aghast with no clue how to respond. “Excuse Me??” I couldn’t control my laughter and let out a smile. “Only that could solve your problem. Love, my friend has, doomed you forever. It’s either this or nothing.” Pranshul realized what happened and smiled properly for the first time since he entered the room, apart from the narration of the moments he cherished with her. “Kill her haan.. Could that be done?” “O yes! Detailed information has been gathered on this topic. Pretty neat way of killing.” “Whom do you plan to kill by this method?” he asked cheekily. “Well, we all have our list, right?”

    This lead to a proper discussion. We talked and talked and maybe that helped him to know his feelings better than telling about it to me. “So how does one decide if things ended right or not?” “Things never end right, if they ended they were not right, but that doesn’t mean mistakes can’t happen.” I went to my philosophical zone and pulled this one out. “Do you feel that if things were to be started from the scratch again and you were given the chance to remake decisions, knowing her and yourself thoroughly now, would you make the same choices again and try to avoid the crap you pulled, or you think whatever happened was for a reason and would take a different route?”

    I thought he would actually take some time on it but he instantly shot back “Same decisions again.” And it was clear to me and him that the ball was not in his court. We went ahead and had maggie, looked at some shoes online, he told me some of his favorite college stories and it was 5 A.M in the morning. “It’s morning! Let us take a nap of 3-4 hours and you should do the same.” I pleaded him while pushing him out of the door. “OK. See you at class.” and he walked down the corridor. “Suddenly I remembered something and shouted, “Do congratulate her on my behalf!”

    He turned back, smiled and replied “Sure I will.”

  • TWEETY EARRINGS

    With the aid of the liquid courage (2 gulps of Coca Cola), my mind has wandered off to a story happened quite some years ago.

    It was the time when I was in 6th standard. Fresh out of Class 5 State Board exams. Now those who don’t know about State Board Exams, Class 5 Board Exams for students younger than 10 years of age, were what IIT-JEE exams are for students interested in engineering. They were used to be one of the most rigorous and toughest exams, second only to Class 8 Board, Class 10 Board, Class 12 Board and innumerable exams, GDs, Interviews to follow rest of our lives.

    We always used to have our class divided in 4 sections. A, B, C, D (obviously). Till Class 6, the sections were the same. We had been studying with same people, seeing the same faces in the class, having the same friends, crushes and bullies. But due to a power shift in the ranking of students after the new criteria at hand (or maybe random shuffling), we all were allotted new sections that year. Hence, a new class, some familiar faces and friends, many unknown people and acquaintances.

    Anyways, the results of the exams were out and suddenly the students who were invisible before, were more shinier than ever, with a tag of “90% in Boards” stuck at their forehead. I have been among the horses who were bet hugely on and misfired. So well, for a person like me in that situation it was pretty hard to actually try to have a conversation with other kids, when the initiating line was “How was your result?”. Funny thing, they all knew it. But still I had a chance at redeeming myself. Something I was having as my birthright passed on to me from one class to another, the position of prefect. The first day is when the class representative is chosen by the teacher. Haah! Routine..

    To my utter shock, I was not even in the elected participants. There was this guy, who I kind of befriended, before him being chosen. And a girl, who I knew was with me in the last class too. How can I go against the guy I just befriended? So I channelled all the energy I was going to put in being a sore loser, to support my new almost friend. And he lost!

    “This girl I knew was with me in the last class” was just selected as the class representative! How could you expect a boy of nearly 10 year of age to cope, going through emotional distress due to reflection of his own below par performance in the mighty State Board exams, getting robbed of his birthright and loosing to “This girl he knew was with him in the last class”? Now he was furious.

    I looked closely at this single tailed (hair), dressed in white shirt and maroon skirt girl. That was the description of maybe 75% girls in the school. I tried for looking something peculiar about her. Something with which I could paint a red “X” on her as target. I scanned her again and again without blinking while everyone was standing and applauding for her appointment. That’s when I noticed something. Something yellow flashed on her ear lobe. I tried to zoom in on it (actually wished I could), but could not get a clear image. The girl was returning back to her seat when she crossed me. “Congratulations” I faked a smile and said. She stopped midway and turned to me. “Thanks!” and grinned hard. One could easily tell she was elated, but who cares! Focus on the ear lobe. She wore earrings which were shaped and designed as Tweety face. “Tweety” as in “Tweety bird”, the yellow canary on cartoon network!

    I smirked as she passed by and pledged an oath that this girl will face the most horrifying experience a prefect could ever have, even if I have to be the one who has to prepare the master-plan for it. That was the birth of a rivalry that kept on for 3 long years.

    I would love to think I made the most out of it, was successful in ruining it for her to the best of my capabilities, straight for three years. And I would also like to believe I have kind of lasting impression. That she won’t be able to forget me for the rest of her life.