My earliest memory of a family wedding is the one which took place in the winter of 2000, 26 of January. My younger Mamaji got married when I was in 3rd std. I remember the functions went on for 2-3 days with the entire house filled with family members, where everyone was providing a helping hand in everything happening around inside a house filled with festivities. Everyone was busy, everyone was enjoying, everyone was happy. That’s how I remember it. And today, I wish only if it could still feel that easy.
We are standing 22 years after, trying to replicate the same atmosphere, with none of the same inputs present. Maybe that is the main problem behind trying to recreate nostalgia within the absolute lack of the same dynamics, circumstances, resources, time and thought process. I’ve heard this multiple times, “Marriage is the starting of a relationship not only between two individuals but two families.” and I have wondered how important does the role of the perception of the wedding plays in it.
No, I am not questioning solely the extravagant weddings, the ones with pre-wedding photoshoots and trailers, but any preconceived notion about how a wedding is supposed to be. Some associate the inclusion of all the people who have ever sent a wedding invitation to your family, as a valid entry into the guest list. Some feel that until and unless the baraatis have coiled on the concrete road to the tune of an handkerchief imitating a magical musical instrument, also termed as “Naagin Dance” in some areas of the country, the wedding is incomplete. From compulsorily having a chaat/coffee counter, to playing the correct entry song for the bride/groom’s appearance on the stage, the wedding validation parameters feel innumerable, absence of any of which might have a detrimental impact on the participant’s experience of the same.
On top of this, COVID 19 has opened a new door, the view of which is being equally loved and hated by wedding enthusiasts. Virtual wedding is both a boon and a curse for these wedding enthusiasts. Whereas a fraction of people are loving the minimalistic setup with the possible appearance of only near and dear ones, even virtually at times, with the overall budget dropping exponentially, another segment has put a pause on their wedding plans until lockdown opens, otherwise live Naagin Dance kaise dekhenge?
Coming back to the dilemma, it is not easy liking the idea of a wedding that needs to take place in a banquet hall when your ideal wedding would either be court marriage, a plain temple wedding, or any simpler format if available (also read as virtual wedding, runaway wedding). An event where the parents do not spend a single penny, and the bride and groom have the right to choose to spend if anything at all seems fair. But these choices do not usually seem very inclusive of near and dear ones who would like to be a part of your big day. Hence, the more “balanced” way to spend one of the most important days in your life, is to make it a family event, which ideally is not that bad of an idea. Other than the fact that it is going to be a financial burden on any newly married couple, unless they end up asking their families to sponsor the wedding, or a part of it.
A better idea, would be for the selected venue/city to be the one where either family resides so that the preparation burden and costing could be reduced substantially, only if the circumstances allowed it. Hence, in an attempt to chase something witnessed 22 years ago, amidst possible COVID wave 3, you might end up finding yourself in something that you should have been happy about, but feel more trapped in.
It is not as if a version of it is not possible at all. A version where your near and dear ones would be able to gather along to celebrate the day with the couple and shower them with their blessings. But the way it seems to be fulfilled in the current scenario, with the situations and limitations at hand, does not fall under the general wedding perception. And saying a no to what has been taken up, comes with a cost that is equally heavy as the cost of going through.
All that can be done now, is to watch the clock strike 22, and be a part of the race until you reach the finish line. Doesn’t matter at what number, more so if you are riding the ghodi.
ABSINRAW 
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