Category: Scribble

Delve into our vibrant canvas where personal narratives, discussions, and candid rants coalesce. Explore real-life encounters, reflections on love, growth, resilience, and conversations that challenge norms.

  • HACK TO LIFE: Work in Progress

    Time never stops. The world around us, it never comes to a halt. At times it may feel like it has, usually when something bad has happened, be it on a personal or universal level. But the flow of time which tends to be frozen, has just been slowed down in perspective to your fast paced lifestyle. It reminds me of the saying true to its essence – “This too shall pass,” which cheekily highlights the undertone of the two extremities this statement stands for, tying together with one fate.

    This has always been the bottom line of everything your life stands for, even if you realize it or not. Even if your unconscious consciousness hints you at it, or your subconscious alertness pokes you as soon as you start getting cozier than the allowed threshold. Whatever we are going through, it won’t be the same forever. So, theoretically, either we need to live in the moments. Or, we need to construct our life in reference to our favorite moments, so that the chances of us living in the similar moments or situations increases. As I said, theoretically.

    Practically, the first theory is plausible. It’s quite straightforward to be honest, following the principles of “The whole world is your Oyster”, “Life is full of endless possibilities” etc. You live in the moments, for the moments, one moment at a time. Lucky bastards.

    The second theory, is the default mechanism instilled in my being. Each life which I have ever been touched by, has been stored in the form of a memory in the intricacies of my brain. I have never been able to figure it out how it works, but these memories have always been an active guidance system. They have been the prime beacon which alerts me when the situation starts feeling familiar. The layup to something good, or not so good. Therefore, I experience the occurrence of Deja vu quite frequently.

    Theoretically, this should be a better system. Because the selective nature of this theory should only give birth to close and personal experiences, while keeping away more casual and time consuming ones. Ironically, that in itself is its primary fault.

    When you only react to selective people, who give you a certain vibe, you are exposing yourself to a very tiny fraction of people who pass by you. So, as you keep moving ahead in life, the filter becomes narrower. The closeness is something you don’t feel easily as it turns out to be an exclusivity, or rarity. And if you end up getting a hint of it, you latch on to it.

    This theory is contradicted by the practical aspect of it. Even if the Deja vu is the guidance system based on the reference memories, what it actually seek are similar possibilities. The possibilities and situations might feel similar, but the most important decisive factor, the human factor, is often forgotten. Even if the presence of a person or a group of people makes you feel familiar, good, warm… ultimately they are not the same people. Though, it is not a bad thing at all. Exposing yourself to different and new people brings in new experiences. And in many instances, that leads to the diversification of the narrow filter. The initial comfort is converted into new experiences, new memories due to same reason. That even though the feeling of Deja vu existed, they are not the same people, resulting in different end results.

    The problem lies in the memories too powerful. The memories which start overshadowing the reality. In this system, the memory doesn’t fade away. It doesn’t get corroded. The background noise in it might be removed, to make it more compact, but the essence of it remains intact, so is the person associated. Hence, each time a powerful memory is overwritten, there is no doubt that the new version is stronger than the reference memory. Giving birth to a new reference memory, harder to overwrite.

    In simpler words, memories, like the feeling of love, which always will be unique, are the toughest nut to crack. Even if you feel the similar vibes again and they are not strong enough as to what you have already felt, it just won’t work. On the lucky side, friendship doesn’t get much affected, as you could have multiple friends at a time, even if they are not as close to you as the closest friend you got.

    Another societal downside to this entire theory, is the communication. Every memory is stored in the brain, like a video stored in your computer hard drive. You just need to click on it to play it. Sometimes, you forget the location where you saved it, but if you ever accidentally stumble over and play it, it will seem like as if it just happened yesterday.

    One way or the other, if you have ever touched my life, your clip is present with me. Not all of them would be of same quality. Some clips might be of few seconds and some would be a feature film. But the gist of it is that I don’t forget people. More like, I can’t forget people. Who has left what kind of impression in how much time, is completely out of my hands. You might think I don’t remember you, or have forgotten you because we haven’t talked for ages. I can’t even explain how wrong you are, as you are always a click or a stumble away up in the brain. However, it is just the perceptional problem.

    The real pain lies in the fact, that the people whom you owe some of the most powerful memories till date, now cease to exist in your life. When the memories which are a major part of your psyche, turns into hollow references. When each comparison leads to them, only ending up into realization that the shoes are too big to fill. And time, well it keeps ticking.

    I wish there was a corrective measure, which could scrap the distance between the theory and practicality of this idea. Otherwise the entire cycle of being stuck in a Deja vu would slowly eat away the happiness, the memories were supposed to be a referential guide to. Because I’ll always prefer living for the moments, rather than living in them. Optimism also has the undertone of the two opposites- boon and curse, tied together with one fate.

     

     

     

    Image Courtesy:
    https://media.giphy.com/media/XN8pBJ6HrLTOM/giphy.gif

     

     

  • V-DAY: To be or Not to be

    Valentine’s day is around the corner once again. The marketing gimmick laid down by the modern-day cupids has already been started a week ahead of it. You have to go through the rigorous cycle of different days, dedicated to specifics. I mean, Rose day is the only day that can actually be defended if attempted, that it makes sense.

    First of all, celebrating just one kind of love is in itself a mockery of love. Love in any form should be celebrated if you want to celebrate any festival as such in the first place. I don’t know if St. Valentine wanted everyone to celebrate love in just one dimension. Like, if someone would have asked him if they could celebrate the love they feel towards their family or friends on this day, he wouldn’t have plainly refused. I don’t think he was aware that in the later centuries we’ll have specific days to celebrate love towards our mother, father and friends. (Do we have a sibling’s day?)

    It is safe to say that St. Valentine’s motive was to celebrate the love in its purest form, not just an element of it.

    Coming back to the modern layout, the road to valentine day, these specific days are hilarious in themselves. If we take the modern idea of V-day into consideration, the love we celebrate has just two components-  the two people in love with each other. Now, keeping every other “day” away just for a second, “Teddy day” is the one that makes the least sense. Statistically, the majority of these couples celebrating V-day are a female and a male, and trust me that the number of males getting a teddy on a “Teddy day” is pretty scarce, because this day is designed for females. Hence, I think that there must be a female brain behind the idea of introducing this entire Valentine week concept.

    Or a company who makes teddy bears, chocolates and other relevant gifts. Maybe a female CEO of such company! (Conspiracy theory)

    Apart from the ruining of a genuinely warm idea of celebrating love by some corporate marketing strategy everyone succumbs too, there is another aspect to it which is even uglier, and limited to our great nation. The group of people against celebrating the festival of love. They are the people whom I have always kept as my Plan-C, in case I had to opt for a runaway wedding. Just walk publicly with the girl you want to marry on V-day and lo! You’ll be married to her before you even know it. Even family members won’t be able to say anything as you can push the blame on these really nice, socially helpful and responsible people. Yeah, there is a good chance that you’ll get beaten and your face will be blackened, but then it’s better to have a set of pissed off parents for the rest of your life (Saasu Maa and Sasur ji).

    There is also this amazing community called “the Singles”. These bright and lively people look forward to this day the most, so that they can dread it. They prepare themselves with the curses they would dedicate to the couples on this auspicious occasion, along with the usage of social media to condemn it to hell. They sit at their home because the sun is too bright outside, stock their fridge with Chocochip Ice-cream and their laptops with Rom-Com movies, weaving dreams of being on the other side of the rope next V-Day.

    I may or may not belong to this category.

    On a sincere note, the idea of celebrating love on just one specific day is weird. If you are in love with someone, why would you wait for a specific day to express it when it exists 365 days around? (You can take an off in the leap year) You will love them even if it’s not 14th of February. You will give them gifts not because there is a specific day for it, but because you feel like doing it. A specific lineup shouldn’t tell you the order in which you ought to do things for your loved ones, specifically for hugs and kisses 😛

    Valentine’s Day should exist, not for the people who are in love, but for those who are not accustomed to it, who have been deprived of it, who need it the most. It should be dedicated to make them feel the warmth of love, to give them hope. In this world, full of complexities, a simple gesture of love holds the power to solve the tangles in people’s heart. There is much more to this day and the intentions of St. Valentine. Sometimes, we need to read between the lines. Let’s try to introduce love this time, in a life which needs it. You’ll get to know how the purest form of it feels.

    Cheers to love!

    –X–

    OK, I admit. After going through the rant above again and again, it does sound stupid. It’s not bad to express the love you feel. To have a day as a reminder for the little things which remain unspoken usually. To dedicate at least a day solely for the feeling which you usually are afraid to even admit. And it’s not even necessary to believe in this day itself. To each his/her own.

    Frankly speaking, this day marks as a bookmark in the year, which just makes everyone aware in one way or the other of how important the presence of someone in your life is. The people bestowed  by it celebrate it, rest eat ice-cream being hopeful. I’ll try to be the third party this time who does’t even remember that such a day exists. Ignorance is bliss.. 🙂

     

     

  • A LETTER TO THE SELFIE QUEEN

    I hated “Selfies”. With time I have come to terms with the fact, that some fads are more bearable if you just let them run their course. But originally, I was a selfie hater.

    So, I guess it won’t be too hard to imagine my perception towards anyone who would be crowned as a “Selfie Queen”. Even though the “Selfie Queen” actually won a dumb competition in a senior-junior ice breaking event, so not exactly her fault. Still, Selfie Queen?? Yuck..

    Anyway, with the kind of love I had for the selfies and the similar feeling extended naturally towards their righteous queen, imagine my horror when a stupid “Name in the Slip” game chose me to be her buddy, just for the sake of a good senior-junior interaction.

    Like, best social event ever.

    Trust me when I say, I tried avoiding it like a plague. The queen was buzzing around me asking everyone who the person in her paper-slip was, as I sat there tight lipped, praying the heavens above to save an atheist from the amazing turn of events. But what are friends for. Welcome to the first awkward interaction.

    And there I was, prior to that event, thinking I would definitely help my junior buddy in every way possible, guide them throughout so that they could make the best out of their first year. How could I do that to the queen?? Somehow the interaction ended and I thanked God we didn’t exchange the number. I smiled inside as I thought that the God was merciful. But no! Just a few days later, I accidentally stumbled across the queen yet again, and this time we ended up exchanging numbers.

    Still, all had not been lost yet. I could still pass another three trimesters without coming in contact with this buddy queen of mine, in the total population of roughly 800 students in a closed residential campus. Speak about heights of optimism.

    And then it happened. Bruno was gone. I don’t remember this bit because I was too shaken at that time. But somehow we ended up talking, me and queen. Surprisingly, this conversation was nothing like what I would have normally expected. Because it was a healing one. That’s when I saw Ms. Dutta for what she is and I came to know this remarkable human being.

    OK, this all was too far-fetched and the exact facts have been dyed in heavy illusions to give this flavor. But too much praise is not my style and I am trying to heavily cut on sugar. Moreover, from this point onward, it’s going to be praises all along anyhow.

    Among people I see and come across on daily basis, who all are unique in their own sense, the rarity which always has fascinated me is the complexity of the simplicity. People are either complex, or simple, or seem complex but are simple. Then there are people like Ms. Dutta, who seem simple, but you always get a vibe similar to the one you feel while looking at the ocean from the shore; the surface is easy to read but the depth cannot be fathomed. She definitely is much more than what meets the eye. And I confirmed this when we had conversations. We never discussed rocket science, but the thoughts conveyed always had a weight in it, which usually comes with observation and experience. The beauty of it all is, the kind of temperament you would imagine for someone described as above, she doesn’t come even close. Ms. Dutta is as chirpy, as bubbly, as talkative, as fun-loving, as inversely proportional wise aged her soul is. I don’t know how she finds this balance. Or if she has a switch to her different modes, where just one exists at a time.

    Either Ms. Dutta, or the “Selfie Queen” 😛

    With the terrifying ability to pull off any joke or sarcasm with such a straight face, Ms. Dutta is what you would call a bundle of joy, made up of ages old ingredients, wrapped up in fancy packing. To top it all off, commendable command over the language, and the “could get killed over” quality, of being a glutton without being fat.

    Damn, even I am jealous.

    Well, that’s too much already for your B’day so I’ll wrap it up by saying two thing.

    1. Thank God your Churus didn’t win SuperChef, because nobody should be potentially good at so many things.
    2. Pink Potato, if you won’t do anything about it, I’ll steal it.

    Your b’days will come and go, but keep celebrating yourself each day. You deserve nothing less. Many many happy returns of the day.

     

     

     

    Image Courtseyhttp://powellong.com/data/wallpapers/70/WDF_1157411.jpg

  • THE BRUNCH

    “What is your highest Flappy Bird score?” she asked while leaning over into the mobile screen.
    “Ohho! just wait a minute! I am on it!” he evaded her without shifting his gaze from it.

    “127!!?? Are you for real??”
     She sounded surprised, though it was hard to judge if she was being sarcastic. His head nodded in disappointment while he dumped the mobile on the sofa.
    “Yeah, just 127… All thanks to you!” he grumbled as he moved towards the kitchen.

    “Heyyy… What did I do? Stop blaming me for your failures!”
     she snapped back as she refused to move away from the sofa and settled herself comfortably instead.

    It was a beautiful, but chilly Friday morning. The sun was now visible over high towering buildings around the society. And living on the top floor of a multi-storied building in a society, makes it easier for you to have access to all the sunlight at the terrace for yourself.

    As he cluttered through the kitchenware, to fix a snack from the last night’s leftovers, she suddenly whispered in his ears, “No maid today again?”

    “Yeah, she had to go to the doctor’s.”
     he replied while focusing on the question, how he wanted the eggs. After a brief moment and sudden realization, he shot back, “You have off today! That’s why you are so chirpy in the morning!”

    “I think it’s high time and you should remember by now that I have my Fridays off.”
     she smirked, following it with a fake sulky pout.

    She was completely ignored! His attention on the breakfast is worth the respect.
    “I would have made you something, but then I thought we could have a brunch someplace. Let’s try out one from our list!” her voice was bursting with energy, and it made a solid attempt to grab his attention.

    “You didn’t make me anything because I don’t drink tea, and that was your best bet!”
     he teased her while flipping the eggs. “But honestly, brunch sounds like a good idea. However, you do remember I have working Fridays??”

    His stare caught her hiding behind the sofa, from where she peeked over and answered, “I do!! But you can call in sick! I am going to the terrace. You take off today or I’ll take off!” she stuck out her tongue at him, and ran upstairs.

    All he could do was smile and follow her, along with the breakfast.
    Because breakfast is essential…

     

    As he sat beside her on the green, wet grass, she closed her eyes and leaned back to soak the sun in. The small rose garden at the terrace, with the sun, just strong enough to break through the morning winter chill, was a personal getaway. He could feel goosebumps all over his body, as the warmth eased him off and seeped into him. An occasional blow of wind turned it into a cycle. As soon as he kept his phone off after calling in sick, she turned towards him and stared blankly. He saw her giving that look to his plate, and then to him.

    “Don’t give me that look! I’ll be fine for the brunch even with this breakfast.” he managed to speak while chewing on what was left of it. She smiled and closed her eyes again, facing towards the sun and breathed “It feels good here. Let’s just stay.”

    He didn’t smile back. His eyes stared directly at the sun till they hurt, and then closed themselves.

    “I felt something peculiar yesterday”
     he muttered as he sat there.

    “I was riding motorcycle while returning from the office, and the speed was a bit high. My mind was jumbled up about something and suddenly it felt like the time has slowed down.
    Like I could just give the accelerator full throttle and let the bike go on, till it crashes into something.
    How would it feel? How would I feel if it crashed? Would the whole slow motion feeling would be gone in an instant? Maybe I’ll fly to a certain distant.
    Floating in mid-air, slow motion.”

    She opened her eyes and stared at him. His eyes were still closed and the face was difficult to read. “Well, that’s dark.” she stated, remaining composed.

    However, he pictured her looking at him with a somber expression, hence couldn’t help but smirk. “I know! But I felt pretty light at that moment. Anyhow, your company does affect you.” He commented sarcastically while enjoying the warmth of the sun on his eyelids. Just the spot!

    “So, what was your mind jumbled in when this happened?” her voice entered his ears, echoing in the pitch-black darkness, with the orange hue. His sigh marked his awareness regarding the occurrence of this question.

    As he opened his eyes, he found her looking at him without any traces of the chirpiness, which floated across her face a few moments before. She had an air of seriousness around her. His head turned up towards the cloudless sky, in a futile hope for the sun to be covered for a bit. So, he took a deep breath and replied, “I was thinking about us…”

    She felt as if the anticipation she had, just got verified. She took her time to respond and began it with a sigh, “I thought I was pretty clear about it. And it seemed like you understood.”

    The voice sounded firm as well as the tone. He looked at the empty plate kept besides him as he avoided looking at her. “I know. I still understand. But that doesn’t change the way I feel.”

    Her voice turned into laughter, which assured sarcasm this time. She leaned forward to inspect a rose bud in the garden and softly spoke “It’s better if we don’t talk about feelings. I think we both are pretty clear about where each of us stands.” her voice trailed a bit, as she stood up and started walking towards the edge of the terrace.

    He didn’t move a muscle and kept sitting on the grass. It was difficult to get through to her, and he knew he was at fault. “The feelings were imbalanced, and I hit the nail on its head.” he spoke softly, trying to weigh-in where to place the statement.

    “You cheated. Don’t sugarcoat it.”
     she leaned at the edge, as if to check something, and turned back and questioned, “Since how long have you not washed your bike?”

    He was feeling the goosebumps again. But there was no chilly wind to cause it.
    “It’s been a week… And you know I didn’t mean it. It was the booze.” he retorted back, although he knew it very well how lame the argument sounded.

    “So, you tell? Do you get to get away?”
     she spoke as she again leaned over to see something that had caught her fancy downstairs.

    “No. But I didn’t hide it, or lied.” 
    his eyes were fixated at the grass, twisting and uprooting whatever he got his hands on.

    She turned around towards him, took a deep breath and sat down resting herself against the border of the terrace. “You do know I am not mad at you for it? We were in long distance relationship. We knew it could happen. We had discussed it earlier.”

    He coldly smiled as he heard those words and his hands stopped. “Does it make me less guilty? Does that mean that I didn’t screw up? Does that mean things could go back to what they were?
    No.”

    “But the chances of us surviving were anyhow…” she tried to interrupt.

    “Were scarce, I agree! But I sabotaged it. I know it. I accept it. And I’ll have to live with it.” He completed himself assertively. She just sat there, silently, looking at him, without blinking her eyes. His hands were intertwined with each other as he dug a hole in the garden with his stare.

    “Yeah, and that’s why you should eat more… Let’s go to the brunch!” She casually tried to change the topic and started to move downstairs.

    “I am not a fool you know… Watching a movie alone is one thing. Eating alone at a restaurant is just plain sad. I’ll ask some friends first.” he muttered as he raised his head. He was unable to notice the trace of smile that ran across her face when she heard him. “So, you don’t need me after all! I am not even counted in as company!” she looked back at him wearing that smile.

    “Had I not needed you, would you be here?” he questioned her as his eyes brimmed with emotions hard to describe.

    “Don’t you think I could have been a bit taller and thinner?”
    she chuckled as she stood on the stairs sticking her tongue out at him again.

    Caught off-guard at this remark all of a sudden, a second later he burst into laughing.

    They both laughed and the moment was perfect.

    The place was perfect.

    The time was perfect.

    “Girl you are amazing, just the way you are!” he mocked singing as he stood up from the grass and carried the plates downstairs, behind her, fake dancing on the tune of it.

    As he put up the dishes in the kitchen sink, the doorbell rang up. It was the maid. “Sorry bhaiyya for being late! The waiting line at the Doctor’s place was very long!”

    “It’s fine Radha ji. As long as you inform me beforehand, it could be managed. Just skip the breakfast and lunch, take care of the rest.” he hurriedly replied as he took his jacket, helmet and the keys to his bike.

    “Bhaiyya… Going somewhere?” the maid enquired as he reached the door.

    “Yeah, I am going on brunch with her. You can do the preparations for dinner directly. I’ll be late.”

    “On brunch with her?? With whom?” the maid asked in surprise. She saw around and only found him standing at the door.

    He looked at the maid, and then at Her standing beside him, all set to go. “Umm… Nobody! Just my imagination! I am going to eat alone.” he smiled as he shut the door up on the perplexed maid.

     

     

     

    Image Courtsey:
    http://www.ramsheadtavern.com/Menus/2016/BRUUCHweb.jpg

  • STUPID DOG

    He always used to keep his right paw bent inward whenever he sat. We always tried to keep his paw straight. It was a ritual. Obligatory to be performed. Because he knew what we’d be doing but he still did it anyway.

    Stupid Dog. Just wanted all the attention in the world.

    You always had it dumbo.. Still have it..